A day in the City of Manila

It has been Hubby's yearly promise to went to the Feast of the Black Nazarene. Since we dated (oh well, yes that was fourteen years ago!), I have been tagged on this yearly occassion. There was only one time when we were not able to attend the feast;that was last year because I happen to at the hospital for surgery. Nonetheless, we are not part of the crowd that was almost a mob during the procession. I don't like the idea of us being part of the crowd especially since we have our son in tow. We just went there to go to mass. Hubby said this for him is to thank the Black Nazarene for all the blessing that he have been giving him all throughout. He always told me how he begged Señor for a lady love that he will end up marrying (ako daw yun!). We actually met on a friday, he was from Quaipo church that day. Seeing how people from all walks of life present during the feast makes me believe (once again!) to the Infinite Power of God. Son was very fascinated that he never gets tired of walking nor did he ever get grumpy at all.

We have spent the afternoon after the mass, trying to look for an alternate route so we won't end up following the procession or getting tangled on it. Much to our surprise, our feet bought us to the Jones Bridge. We crossed Jones Bridge and off we went to the Intramuros. To my surprise, Intramuros was a much different place than I remembered it to be. We were lucky because there was a Sto. Niño Exhibit ongoing until that day. It was nice seeing all the Infant Jesus' image being shown. A group of youngsters were also there as if practicing for a parade. They were placing makeshift drums and cymbals, but they do sound great. Reminds me of Pinoy ingenuity. Since we are already around the place, we also dropped by the Manila Cathedral and off to Luneta Park we also go. It was almost sunset when we arrived there. Our son was very happy about the experience. He even blurted out not to go to the malls and spend some more time at the park. He even mentioned boating and fishing in La Mesa Ecopark to become part of our next itinerary.

Well, a day in the City of Manila is not bad at all. Seeing the smile, makes every drop of sweat (oh, I almost forgot, we never ride any jeepneys or what have yous transferring from one place to another) worth it!

Welcoming 2009 with a Bang (hopefully)!

Alright, alright!

It's still 4 days before my expected monthly period but I have already tested. (tigas ng ulo!). Well, it is because I dont feel well, in fact I really feel sick (tired and sleepy, sobra!). Even if I am making sure that I get enough sleep and have taken all my supplements. I don't know why I feel this way but upon further researching (thanks to Google!), i found out this could be early signs of pregnancy (yipee!). So I bought a pack of home pregnancy test kit and tested myself. To my dismay, it gave back a negative result but then again, as far as I remembered I happen to have the same result when I did it seven years but then after nine months I got my son. It seems that hpt's cannot respond to my very low hcG level especially early on pregnancy. So this means I have to wait 2 to 3 more weeks before testing again.

Hopefully, I won't get my period and be able to conceive na rin eventually. It could be a very good way to welcome this New Year!

My 2009 To-Do List

Three days before 2009 comes in and I already have a lot of things in mind to do for the coming year. Hmm, let me write this down and see next year if anything will be accomplished. I dont want to call it my New Years Resolutions rather I'd be calling it My 2009 To-Do-List.

Hopefully matupad kahit kalahati lang ng list na ito.

1. To be able to pay the full amount of the lot that we have paid the downpayment from our 13th month pay.

2. To be able to build our house, or at least part of it.

3. To have more time with my family, especially my kid.

4. Hopefully to have a new baby. (yey!we've been working on this for a month now,LOL!)

5. To have a time off spent just for myself. (kahit simpleng spa or salon day for me alone!)

6. To lenghten my patience sa tatay kong byudo.

7. To clean the house (as in, squeaky clean) before Valentines Day.

8. To learn a new language next year (preferably Japanese or Spanish).

9. To renew ties with long lost friends found via various networking sites.

10.To organize a successful family reunion come February.

11. To plan ahead for my Jian's 7th birthday this August.

12. To visit old relatives and hopefully brighten up their day.
13. To be able to pay our credit card in full.

Pataas ng Pataas ng Pataas

Kanina lang ako nagbyaheng ulit papuntang opisina kasi di pwedeng maghatid si Hubby dahil kailangang mag aral ni Baby para sa test sa eskwela bukas. Nagulat ako sa sobrang taas ng pamasahe sa ngayon. Parang kelan lang, 1.50 ang minimum na pamasahe sa mga jeepneys tapos ngayon 8.50 na pala. Okay, siguro nga ay sobrang tagal na ang panahong sinasabi ko kasi 15 years na nga pala akong nakakagraduate from high school, at high school ako noong 1.50 ang pamasahe sa jeep. Naisip ko lang dati pag may bente pesos ako sa bulsa, malayo na ang mararating ko, may meryenda pa ako. Ngayon kaya magkano na ang baon ng mga high school students? Grade 1 pa lang kasi ang anak ko eh kaya nagkakasya pa sya sa sandwiches and biscuits na pinapabaon namin. At saka mas gusto ko yung ganito na pinababaunan ko sya ng pagkain, alam ko na kung ano ang kinakain nya, di pa sya lumalaki na sanay na may hawak na pera. Ang hirap na talaga ng buhay, wala ng mura ngayon kundi ang mura ng kapitbahay mo na galit na galit dahil sa patuloy na pagtaas ng presyo ng bilihin.

Kung noong mga nakakaraang buwan na ang NFA rice ay nabibiling disiotso pesos isang kilo, madami pa ring magugutom, paano na ngayong tumaas na rin sya at naging bente singko pesos na kada kilo. Dumadami lalo ang batang nasa kalye at naghahanap buhay, dumadami rin ang nasisiraan ng bait dahil sa gutom. Ano na lang kaya ang kahihinatnan nang Pinoy at ng Pilipinas pagkaraan ng sampung taon? Dati, ang bukambibig ko noong nasa kolehiyo ako, di ko iiwan ang 'Pinas kasi alam ko kaya pa nitong tumayo sa lugmok na kinalalagyan nya. Nagsisimula kasi noong ituring tiger economy ang ekonomiya ng bansa na nasa pamamahala ni Tabako. Ngayon, nagsisimula na rin akong mag isip na mangibang bayan para sa kinabukasan ng anak ko, ng pamilya namin. Pabulok na kasi nang pabulok ang sistema sa 'Pinas kahit sa pinakamaliit na sangay ng gobyerno me korupsyong nagaganap, kahit sa kabataang barangay nauso na rin ang bilihan ng boto. Haynaku, pano pinakikialaman na rin ng malalaking pulitiko.

Mag aanim na taon pa lang ang anak ko sa Agosto, at ayokong ito ang maging mukha ng Pilipinas na kalakihan nya. Pero, ano ang magagawa ng isang inang katulad ko kung nag iisa lang ako. Kung sana lang lahat ng ina ay magtutulong tulong alam ko may natitira pang hibla nang buhay ang 'Pinas at nasa palad ito ng kabataang nasa pangangalaga ng kanilang mga magulang.

The inevitable 14th of May

Ang bilis ng panahon. July na pala. Parang kelan lang nung pumasok ang taon na ito tapos eto nangangalahati na pala tayo. Parang kelan lang din nung binalot ang pamilya namin ng sobrang lungkot. After almost 5 years of battling a Primitive Neuroectodermal tumor that metastasized to the bone, Mama already returned to where she really belongs. This is actually the first time that am writing about her death, kasi parang hanggang ngayon I dont want to think that she is really gone. I'd like to make believe that she just went on vacation sa Japan sa kapatid ko na nandon. It had been almost 2 months now, but you see, the pain is still there. I could still feel the pain of having to deal with everything that day. I am the eldest among three sibling and the only daughter. I have always been the one to decide on her medications and everything that concerns her health. She have always given me that task since the time I transferred her from the care of one hospital to another. She never hesitated that I will make a right decision. Pero, napakahirap pala na mag decide pag naiipit ka sa gitna ng dalawang choices na parehong mahirap piliin. I ended up asking help from my younger brothers, sabi ko kaming tatlo ang mag decide kung ipapadala namin sya sa ICU that day. Kahit na nasa Japan ang isang kapatid ko, we decided as one. Mahirap pumili, it's like choosing the less evil from two evils. But is has to be done. At exactly, 2pm of May 14, we decided to bring her sa ICU and wait from there. That decision meant that we are waiving our right to stay by her side, which we know na ayaw nya. She does not want to be alone and we know that. But we cant just stare at her and see her die in pain. Kelangan naming ibaba sya sa ICU. When I entered the ICU room to be with her and see her condition, I talked to her and tell her how sorry I am to let her be in that room but this is how things should go. I informed her that the equipments in that room cannot be transferred to her private room kaya kelangan talaga sya ang ibaba. Well, she can no longer talk dahil sa respirator na nakakabit sa kanya. I felt really sad seeing her so helpless. Sanay pa naman kami na sya ang kinukunan ng lakas ng loob. I felt so sad because she keeps on pressing my hand as if telling me that she is gonna be okay. Pinisil nya ang kamay ko at ewan ko ba kung imagination ko lang na parang hinihila nya ko nung magpaalam ako sa kanya na kalangan ko nang lumabas sa kwarto nya kasi may iba pa syang bisita na gusto syang makita. I kept on her telling her to fight and to stay longer for each of us, for all of the dreams we haven't fulfilled yet. Pero, God has His way. He decided to end her life that day, the inevitable 14th of May 2008 at exactly 10:35pm. Well, almost two months have passed but then di ko pa rin maiwasan na maiyak as I write this down, ni hindi ko nga maisulat ng buo ang details ng araw na yun. Mahirap. Napakahirap mawalan ng isang Ina. The good thing is pinatapos nya muna ang mother's day bago sya umalis kasi alam nya siguro na mas masakit sa aming lahat kung wala na sya nung mother's day. She went home to her Creator exactly 3 days after we have celebrated what we will always remember to be her last mother's day.

You will always be remembered, Mama. Your memories will stay long after you have gone.