Guidelines for a Good Life

When my Mom was still alive, we normally have conversations while in bed, mostly after we woke up from our afternoon nap.  Those are the times that I really miss now.  I did not understood it then but she was always giving me small advices during those small talks.  When she passed away, it was then that I came to realize the lessons she was slowly teaching me.

Summarizing those lessons, I realized that Mom was giving me guidelines to live my life with.

1. Goodness begets goodness.  Mama was the type of person who alaways sees the goodness in other. There are even times that we tend to disagree with her, she makes us realize that if we plant goodness, sooner these goodness will be given back to us.  True enough, we witnessed how her goodness was generously given back not just to her but to us, as her family, when she was sick and even when she passed away.  Relatives' and friends' support kept on coming, in the all sorts of form.  Mama might not know it then but it was the law of karma that she was teaching us.

2.  Give, even if sometimes it hurts.  I only understood the essence of true giving when I became a Mom myself.  Becoming a Mom entails a lot of giving, and yes most of the times it hurts.  It starts when you get pregnant.  Pregnancy is indeed a happy journey, but most moms would agree that there are also unpleasant experiences along the way.  Just think about the morning sickness, the nausea, the backpains and actual delivery itself.  But it is a process women had to endure to give life to her offspring and to give happiness to her husband.  And delivery is not the end of it all.  We continue to give while breastfeeding and while we let our kids take the most part of us, we sometimes forget about ourselves.  

3.  Let Go and Let God.  This is the best lesson that Mom taught me by being a true example.  When she got sick (she died of Bone Cancer), I have seen how she let go of every worries and let God to take care of her.  She did not let her sickness to win over her body.  While she was sick, she continued serving God and the church, in her ways.  She prayed for her recovery, yes, but she also asked God to help us if in case she won't make it.  And make it, she did.  She might not have won the battle over Cancer but she showed us that if we stay together, we can work wonders.

Mom may be gone forever but her lessons linger.  I promised myself to passed on these lessons to my kids and even hopes that others will also be benefited from these guidelines.

 

Let's talk favorites

The name of my top favorite product is BumbleBro, he is our ever trusted Honda Bravo who will turn five by January next year. He never lets us down and we can always trust him, be it a smooth ride or a rough one. He was named by my son after BumbleBee, the transformer robot-guardian of Sam Witwicky in the movie Transformers and we talked to him like a real person. I always asked him to take care of Hubby whenever he brings him to work. We always thanked him after bringing us all safe to home and Hubby ensures he gets his daily bath. He is also pampered by a weekly treat to the carwash. I would not be a hypocrite and say that I don't want to have a true BumbleBee (who would not want a Camaro, eh!?) but what I can assure BumbleBro is that I would not trade him for whatever car, he will always be our BumbleBro.

After BumbleBro, the laptop I am typing with comes next. I loved that it makes me connected with people from different locations and that I can journal my thoughts with it. It that he keeps all my files, photos and documents, intact.

Then, there comes Picasa, a software that allows not only photo storage but also photo editing. It is what I used to watermark my images. I have also edited some pictures though it. It is also nice that you can easily connect and upload to your online Picasa website with just some click of buttons on their interface.

Next, comes my wedges. Wedges are like my everyday shoes. You see, I was one of those ladies not really blessed with good height. I stand only 5 feet 2 inches tall. Hubby is beside me and is whispering don't lie, you're only 5 feet flat. And hence I needed something to make me look a little bit taller. After giving birth nine years ago, high heels and stiletto shoes became uncomfortable for me. Imagine a mom with a kid in tow and a big baby bag on her shoulders wearing a 3 inch shoes. That would be hurtful and a total inconvenience. Good thing that the wedges came to the rescue. Stilettos and high heels are just for, uhmm, formal occasions now. I now have 5 pairs of wedges and wanting to buy another one.

Hmm, I wonder what other mommies consider their favorite products.

MM : Food, Movies and Scrapblogs

I so love the theme of this month's Mommy Moments. Mommies will be talking about the least of the person they are concerned about, themselves. Admit it or not, mommies, in the course of taking care of their families,most often that not, forget about themselves. We normally drown ourselves with the needs of our family that a lot of times we forget that we are also in need of some pampering.

For this week, let us talk about our hobbies. Ever since I could remember, I have always been a foodie. I love to eat though a lot of those who know me personally says that my body is really good in not showing it. Apart from consuming food, I also love creating them. Yes, I love to cook and bake. If given the chance to study again, I would definitely love to go to a culinary school. Our kitchen is always busy especially during my restdays because that is my haven. It is where I find peace and I love the aroma of food from my own kitchen. I am so into cooking that I decided to devote my second blog to my second love. I hope you could drop by Mom from Manila Cooks.



Apart from food, other things that occupies my time are movies and TV series. Right now, I am so into the Vampire Diaries that even Hubby gets excited when I tell him that a new episode is about to be shown. I also love musicals so I easily got hook with Glee. When it comes to movies, we mostly watched sci-fi but when I am with Hubby, we both love romantic movies such as The Notebook, our fave of all-time. I am also always on the look out for new cooking shows or new episodes of the old ones. My personal favorite would be Chef Michael Smith's Chef at Home. Just recently, my attention was also caught by one local teleserye, 100 days.

I also love to do online scrapbooking. I really don't do this most of the time but it is one of my stress relievers. I feel so creative using this online scrapbooking tools. in the future, i wanna learn how to use photo editors like Gimp or Photoshop.




If you wanna know what other things we are best in doing apart from parenting, just head on to Mommy Chris' site.

Awareness about the Big C

I was blogwalking through other Mommy blogs and I came across another Pinay mom blogging about Cancer awareness. Now aside from breastfeeding, cancer awareness is another advocacy that I want to push through. Nine years ago, I came to realize that the Big C can actually creep into anybody's life. Our Mom was diagnosed with Primitive Neuroectodermal Tumor, a rare type of cancer that attacks the nerves. Prior to her diagnosis, we never really know what Cancer was. All we know is that it exists and some are stricken and yes, I have to admit that I was thinking it was "sakit na pang-mayaman lang". But, no, that really is not the case. When Mom was diagnosed she was, I could about to enter the prime of her life. My youngest brother was about to graduate from college the following year, which for her, could mean, that she was also about to graduate from her responsibility of sending us to school. She could have enjoyed the life meant for her had it not been for the Big C. We have a lot of plans that never pushed through because the funds had to be diverted on her medical expenses. It was a painful experience specially for me, because I was the one that was tasked to look for other means to get additional assistance for her. I lined up in PCSO's office, the congress and yes I was the one who always talked with doctors. I educated myself regarding medical terms, and I was thankful that Google was already there to help me out. Now, apart from the burden of looking for additional assistance, I also appointed myself as my mom's personal caregiver. I was the one who bathe her, fed her and gave her medicines. For me, it was my way of showing my affection and it was my way of giving back all the attention that she had given the entire family. And yes, I was doing all these things while I was also taking care of my new bown baby then. Mama was never a hard patient to deal with. She would obliged drinking whatever medicines that she is given, eating all the foods she is told to consume. Cancer made us suffer financially, I would say. But, it was also Cancer that brought the bond of our family even closer. We learned how to say the rosary as a family. We learned to live life fully day in and day out. We learned to celebrate each milestone, however small it was. We learned that we can only depend on each one. And, in that in the end, we were able to realize how lucky we are for having Mama as our mother. We witnessed how other people loved her and how she was able to make a difference in those person's lives. Help came pouring in up until the time that she already passed away. Not necessarily financial help but prayers. And for us, for me, that was what we really need then.

Yes, Cancer could have taken her from us but the Big C did not took her memories with it. Her memories will remain forever. This is the reason why each time I know someone stricken with Cancer, I always tell them the story of my Mom, a story of a person who battled the disease for almost six years. The very reason why I am joining fellow bloggers for the Charity Blogging for Cancer Awareness. I would like people to know that it is indeed true that Cancer could take the people we dearly care about but it can be prevented. We just have to be aware of what we eat, our lifestyle and specially how we take care of our bodies.

Come December a whole day affair for for cancer patients and survivors. There will be freebies, contests and performances. To all Mommy bloggers out there, let us take time to help out cancer patients. Let us make use of our power to spread the word. Please go to Life and Fever to more about this upcoming event and how we can help.

A Mother's Love

Mothers' Day is here again. It seems that this special day for Moms has been tainted because of Pacquiao-Mosley boxing bout. Since Pacquiao won, can we say Mommy D is the happiest amongst all moms today? I guess not. I am happy because Hubby and Kid surprised me with a bouquet of red roses after the mass. I know, it was not as grand as the Hermes bag that Mommy D had or those Manolo Blahniks that she will be wearing on her birthday bash. But the flowers came from two important men in my life. I care not about the tag but more about the thought.

Our Mom makes us be this way. We were brought up to choose needs over wants. We were shown that we have to work hard to be able to get what we want in life. Life can be simple or grand , depending on how you choose life to be. Everything that we are right now, we all owe to this one very special lady.

Mama was there when I had to fight for my right to become the schools representative on a district wide quiz bee in grade one. Mama was there when I delivered my first poem in front of two classrooms full of onlookers, a lot of them I don't know. Mama witnessed how I tripped my way when I was dancing one night in high school. She was also there when I graduated in college. She was with me when I walked down the aisle and she was there during my own take on motherhood. She patiently gave me all the foods that I was craving for, making sure that I get what exactly I want. She might not be beside me when I was laboring for my kid but I know that on her room she was whispering a prayer for my safe delivery. She was there to teach me how to bathe my kid. I could still remember how she beams with pride holding on to her only apo. She was patient enough to call us each and every day when we were living far from them. She never fails to give hope and courage even during the times that she was already bedridden with cancer. She never makes it hard for us to live with her illness. Although she battled cancer for almost six years, we never saw the pain in her eyes until the very last hours. She may be gone now but her spirit remains. Whenever I see my kid and hug him, I now know how it feels to become a mother and I now know why she chooses to live longer. She chose to live longer even when she is silently in pain so she could be with us for a little more time. I guess it is true, that Angels cannot be everywhere, so He just created Mothers.



Mama, wherever you are please know that you are loved and that we are blessed having you as our Mom.

Happy Mothers Day!

MM: Preggy Tales

My first pregnancy was a delight , I would say. I had always had irregularities with my menses eversince I could remember. I even told Hubby prior to getting married that it could be difficult for us to be pregnant because of my menstrual irregularities He said he is marrying me because he loves me and that it is no big deal if we can be pregnant or not. We were pretty surprised when just after six months of being married, we have been blessed. Surprised and Delighted were understatement. I did not have any problems on my first three trimesters. the only problem was I dreaded the smell of sauteing dishes and that I want to eat certain types of foods (my Mom was always there to rescue Hubby on my cravings and so are my Titas). The kid was the first grandchild on my side of the family and you could imagine the excitement he has created on the family. Things go differently when I entered my third trimester. The kid on my tummy was very active and he was kicking and dancing inside my womb. The kickings and dancings started to create contractions. On my sixth and a half month of pregnancy, my cervix is already 1cm dilated. This worried my OB GYNE and eventually ordered me on bed rest and on Duvadilan every eight hours. I was nervous and I kept on talking to the kid inside me. I asked him to stay quiet or Mama might be rushed to the delivery room making it hard for both of us. I guess, the kid inside listened and I was able to carry him to full term. I gave birth to a healthy 2.745 kgs. baby boy (that looks like a girl). Regrets? I was not able to capture the pregnancy in pictures. Those few images that I had when I was pregnant were gone with Ondoy.

Last March 26 , 2009, I had the same delighted feeling when I tested positive after 3 years of trying-to-conceive. But the feeling was shortlived, we lost the baby at almost nine weeks. The only thing that left the pregnancy was the image that i kept in my Facebook profile til now.

I am very happy that God gave me a shot at being a mom. It completed the woman in me. I would greatly appreciate though if He will give me another shot at being a Mom, and I am praying that it will be soon.

Looking back at my 34th

I was checking the bulk of image file on my laptop and I get to dig into these images taken last year. The image above was taken in Universal Studios in Singapore exactly a year ago. It was brother's birthday gift to me and a treat to the kid as well for doing good in school.

The image showing below was taken in Hongkong's Ocean Park last August 2010. This was brother's gift to the kid for his 8th birthday and for Papa's 57th birthday. Thinking how my 34th year on earth has been, I would say 'twas a very good one indeed. I was able to visit places and able to meet new people in my life. I am now looking forward to my 35th and hopes for all the best, perhaps a baby? (Good Heaven, please hear me!)

I would love to end this entry with a saying that was uttered by Elizabeth Arden. It goes like this; “I’m not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You’re as old as you feel.” Well said, isn't it?

Thanking the Heavy Rain

It has been a long time since I have been able to write anything here. I have been too busy with the recent movement in the office. With my new account comes a lot of new learnings as well. It's like taking a crash course in computer terminologies and it feels most of the time that my head is about to burst with the new knowledge. The hardest part of it? well, it's not the learning but the unlearning of all the process that have stayed on my system for almost three years.

I must admit thanking the heavy rains that poured over Metro Manila for the past few days. It makes me stay home for almost five days. Yes, I was not able to come to the office last night because of the heavy rains. It felt bad but it also felt right. I had the chance to revisit this site and saw how I actually neglected it over the past few weeks.

I do hope that the end of my training ( which will be in two weeks time ) will give me more time to do what I really love to do. And yes, Blogging is surely one of them.

Used Cars on Sale

I have been asking my husband for the longest time to get me a car. I know that we still dont have enough budget to buy a new car, so we settled to look for used cars for sale. I was in awe when I saw some used Mercedes Cars up on sale at very affordable price. I practically spent a lot of time checking out on their used cars sections. It was also great to know that they also do car lease for new cars. They also have the best price amongst the sites that we have looked into.

I am hoping that by the end of this year we will be able to get a car of our own. And when that time comes, I will surely check back on BuyYourCar.co.uk.

MIssing Mom on Mother's Day

Today is a very special day to all mother's in the world. This happens to be the first mother's day that I will not be able to hug my mom. Roughly a year ago, she left us to be with her creator. I actually made the video below as a gift to her on her 50th birthday last November 4, 2007. That was her last birthday with us and I could also say it was her happiest. There were a lot of surprises for her on that day. She was reunited with her long lost friends and all the person dear to her were there to greet her on that special day.



Nasaan ka man, Mama, Happy Mother's Day. I know you are still guiding us. Thanks for everything and I promise to make sure that you will always be remembered by your apo. Mahal na mahal ka naming lahat.

Hubby turns 37

My hubby turned 37 last April 18th. We would have wanted to celebrate it some place special. There have been plans actually but we can’t go some place which will take hours for traveling. Instead, what we did was to go to the nearest park in our area. Walking under the huge trees of La Mesa Eco Park was a stress buster on its own. You can trail the whole park without feeling exhausted, must have been the oxygen from the trees. We were lucky to be gifted a nice weather as well. Another surprise was the Cultural show on the amphitheater of the place. Some cultural groups from different schools were there to perform their stuffs. One group caught my attention. They are from University of the Philippines. The name of their group was Kontemporaryong Gamelan Pilipino (Kontra-Gapi). They played all sort of cultural Filipino music. We hear them played music from different tribes. It reminds me of the time that I still play the lyre (Yes, I did! way back in high school). The music was soothing and it was nice to dance with the tunes.

Indeed we would have enjoyed the day if it was spent somewhere else. But who says, we did not enjoy nature at La Mesa Eco Park. Well, think again!

The long wait is over

A few days from now, I will be celebrating my 33rd year here on Earth. As most of us, I have my birthday wishes as well. You see, I lost my mom, a few months back. On her wake, I have been trying to look ahead to this day. This is going to be my first birthday without her usual morning greeting. As in, kahit galit sya or masama ang loob nya sa akin, she never fails to greet me. I know I will no longer hear her greetings on my birthday but she sure has her way of sending me a birthday present from heaven. She visited my dreams a few day's back. I could not contain my joy as I hugged her tight, she just smiled her usual smile. And then she was gone, again. I was already happy when I woke up that day. I never really expected to receive any birthday present from her. Though as I can remember during her wake, someone told me that I can whisper her a wish and she will directly request it to God. I did whisper her something, but I know she knows what my heart is asking. Three days before my birthday, God already gave me the two lines that we have always been praying for. Yes, that's two lines for a positive pregnancy test. That is after three years of waiting.

My period was due nine days ago but it did not came. Thanks, Mom, for making sure I still have something to be happy about on my birthday. Thanks so much for giving the most wonderful birthday gift. God indeed answers prayers.

Oh, and would you believe me posibilidad na maging kabirthday ng Mama ko ang baby na ito pag nagkataon?!

Touched by an Angel

"Angel of God,
my guardian dear,
To whom God's love
commits me here,
Ever this day,
be at my side,
To light and guard,
Rule and guide.
Amen."

Have you been touched by an angel? I have been, just recently. I was cleaning our house last weekend and I was about to dispose old newspapers which are starting to file up on our living room. Tired as I was on that day, I wanted to take it real slow. I flipped through the pages of some old news items. I tell you, I am not the kind of person who reads a newspaper from cover to cover. Mostly I just read news that catch my attention. My attention was caught up by a story about a girl named Hannah Ysabelle Ordoviz. She is an angel born with a rare case of congenital breathing defect. According to the news, the condition is called Congenital Central Hypoventilation Syndrome (CCHS). It is a rare and lifetime condition characterized by one’s brain failing to signal the body to breathe. In her case, her brain stops the signal when she falls asleep.To keep her breathing, they need to attach her to a mechanical respirator which cost P750,000. Add to this the fact that she can never play at the park or even outside their house. If she needs to visit the hospital for her check ups, she needs to be taken to and from the house by an ambulance. Visiting her multiply site made me burst into tears(siguro dahil mommy na rin ako). I googled her up today and I found out that the respirator that she needs is already given by God! God really answers prayers. Sabagay, sa dami ng nagdadasal para sa anghel na ito, I am sure God will hear it and God will send what she needs.

Ako, ngayon ang hinihingi ko sa guardian angel ko sana ibulong nya kay God na gusto ko ng isang baby pa, at kundi kalabisan sana baby girl.

Ikaw, what is in your prayers? I don't know if there is any one out there reading my blog, but if you happen to read this (kahit sino ka man), please say a little prayer for Hannah Ysabelle at kung pede po pakisama na rin ang prayer ng family namin for another baby.

Praying for Motherhood, the Second Time Around

Roughly four years go when we decided to have another kid. I stopped the pill and waited to be pregnant in the months that followed. It was in the same year that we found out that my left ovary was not so healthy. I was one of the many women who suffered from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). My then-OB told me it will be hard to conceive the natural way. During the same time, my Mom is struggling against Bone Cancer. That made me shrugged off PCOS, I even told myself the old saying “pag di ukol, di bubukol”. But waking up this morning made me realize that I am not getting any younger, few days from now, I will turn 33. We have always wanted Jian to enjoy the role of being a “kuya”. In our daily conversations , I often call him “Anya” or “Kuya”. And I know he likes it when he is being called that way.

Now, I am contemplating. Should we try IVF or wait some more for God’s Time?

In the meantime, my officemate told me about St. Gerard Majella, the patron saints of motherhood. I think I will try to pray some more.

Good St. Gerard, powerful intercessor before the throne of God, wonder-worker of our day, I call upon you and seek your aid. You know that our marriage has not as yet been blessed with a child and how much my husband and I desire this gift. Please present our fervent pleas to the Creator of life from whom all parenthood proceeds and beseech Him to bless us with a child whom we may raise as His child and heir of heaven. Amen.

Prayerful Monday

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Amen.


**This is a prayer by St. Francis of Assisi.

Prayerful Monday 1

I want to start the workweek right. This gives me the idea to start it by sharing my prayer for the moment.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

From now on , I will dedicate all my monday posts to my Creator by posting prayers. This is going to be my way of giving back the blessing that all came from him.

Welcoming 2009 with a Bang (hopefully)!

Alright, alright!

It's still 4 days before my expected monthly period but I have already tested. (tigas ng ulo!). Well, it is because I dont feel well, in fact I really feel sick (tired and sleepy, sobra!). Even if I am making sure that I get enough sleep and have taken all my supplements. I don't know why I feel this way but upon further researching (thanks to Google!), i found out this could be early signs of pregnancy (yipee!). So I bought a pack of home pregnancy test kit and tested myself. To my dismay, it gave back a negative result but then again, as far as I remembered I happen to have the same result when I did it seven years but then after nine months I got my son. It seems that hpt's cannot respond to my very low hcG level especially early on pregnancy. So this means I have to wait 2 to 3 more weeks before testing again.

Hopefully, I won't get my period and be able to conceive na rin eventually. It could be a very good way to welcome this New Year!

My 2009 To-Do List

Three days before 2009 comes in and I already have a lot of things in mind to do for the coming year. Hmm, let me write this down and see next year if anything will be accomplished. I dont want to call it my New Years Resolutions rather I'd be calling it My 2009 To-Do-List.

Hopefully matupad kahit kalahati lang ng list na ito.

1. To be able to pay the full amount of the lot that we have paid the downpayment from our 13th month pay.

2. To be able to build our house, or at least part of it.

3. To have more time with my family, especially my kid.

4. Hopefully to have a new baby. (yey!we've been working on this for a month now,LOL!)

5. To have a time off spent just for myself. (kahit simpleng spa or salon day for me alone!)

6. To lenghten my patience sa tatay kong byudo.

7. To clean the house (as in, squeaky clean) before Valentines Day.

8. To learn a new language next year (preferably Japanese or Spanish).

9. To renew ties with long lost friends found via various networking sites.

10.To organize a successful family reunion come February.

11. To plan ahead for my Jian's 7th birthday this August.

12. To visit old relatives and hopefully brighten up their day.
13. To be able to pay our credit card in full.

The inevitable 14th of May

Ang bilis ng panahon. July na pala. Parang kelan lang nung pumasok ang taon na ito tapos eto nangangalahati na pala tayo. Parang kelan lang din nung binalot ang pamilya namin ng sobrang lungkot. After almost 5 years of battling a Primitive Neuroectodermal tumor that metastasized to the bone, Mama already returned to where she really belongs. This is actually the first time that am writing about her death, kasi parang hanggang ngayon I dont want to think that she is really gone. I'd like to make believe that she just went on vacation sa Japan sa kapatid ko na nandon. It had been almost 2 months now, but you see, the pain is still there. I could still feel the pain of having to deal with everything that day. I am the eldest among three sibling and the only daughter. I have always been the one to decide on her medications and everything that concerns her health. She have always given me that task since the time I transferred her from the care of one hospital to another. She never hesitated that I will make a right decision. Pero, napakahirap pala na mag decide pag naiipit ka sa gitna ng dalawang choices na parehong mahirap piliin. I ended up asking help from my younger brothers, sabi ko kaming tatlo ang mag decide kung ipapadala namin sya sa ICU that day. Kahit na nasa Japan ang isang kapatid ko, we decided as one. Mahirap pumili, it's like choosing the less evil from two evils. But is has to be done. At exactly, 2pm of May 14, we decided to bring her sa ICU and wait from there. That decision meant that we are waiving our right to stay by her side, which we know na ayaw nya. She does not want to be alone and we know that. But we cant just stare at her and see her die in pain. Kelangan naming ibaba sya sa ICU. When I entered the ICU room to be with her and see her condition, I talked to her and tell her how sorry I am to let her be in that room but this is how things should go. I informed her that the equipments in that room cannot be transferred to her private room kaya kelangan talaga sya ang ibaba. Well, she can no longer talk dahil sa respirator na nakakabit sa kanya. I felt really sad seeing her so helpless. Sanay pa naman kami na sya ang kinukunan ng lakas ng loob. I felt so sad because she keeps on pressing my hand as if telling me that she is gonna be okay. Pinisil nya ang kamay ko at ewan ko ba kung imagination ko lang na parang hinihila nya ko nung magpaalam ako sa kanya na kalangan ko nang lumabas sa kwarto nya kasi may iba pa syang bisita na gusto syang makita. I kept on her telling her to fight and to stay longer for each of us, for all of the dreams we haven't fulfilled yet. Pero, God has His way. He decided to end her life that day, the inevitable 14th of May 2008 at exactly 10:35pm. Well, almost two months have passed but then di ko pa rin maiwasan na maiyak as I write this down, ni hindi ko nga maisulat ng buo ang details ng araw na yun. Mahirap. Napakahirap mawalan ng isang Ina. The good thing is pinatapos nya muna ang mother's day bago sya umalis kasi alam nya siguro na mas masakit sa aming lahat kung wala na sya nung mother's day. She went home to her Creator exactly 3 days after we have celebrated what we will always remember to be her last mother's day.

You will always be remembered, Mama. Your memories will stay long after you have gone.

A learning from long ago

We are about to move to another house in a few days from now. As part of the moving, there was a lot of cleaning and gathering of things that we should bring to the new house. This is why I stumbled into this old poem that I wrote on my diary in high school. As I read each line of this poem, it came to my mind that the reason why I wrote this in that diary long ago was because my mom and I were on some sort of misunderstanding. I, being the hard-headed teen I was then, would like to somehow give this poem to her as a part of my mother's day gift but I never had the courage. reading the poem now gives me more insights on being a mom and how I should handle all my little Jian's mischievousness at times. I'm writing this down right now, so as to share the lovely verses that was written by Kahlil Gibran.

On Children
An excerpt from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
"Speak to us of Children".And he said:

Your children are not your children,

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but are not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your chilren

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and

He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far

Let your bending in th earcher's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

So he loves also the bow that is stable.

As I was growing I have always been given rules to follow. I grew up in house that kids are not given the chance to speak their mind out. My parents,having been bought by their disciplinarian parents, have always believed that in raising a child one has to be stiff and should always imposed punishment for broken rules. Yes, napapalo po ako nun dahil sa katigasan ng ulo ko. I have always been in some sort of argument with my Mama, especially during my teenaged years. I have always been the kind who would always stood for what I believed is right even if it means that I will be alone in my beliefs and would have to contest that of my parents understanding. Blame it on my Papa who, during my elementary days, made me realized that in order for others to respect you as a person you have to be true to what you have promised. Now that I am mother to a very smart boy, I begin to understanding the feelings of my Mama then while we are growing up. I am actually, at times. sounding like her. I guess I should have to be reminded as well that children are born with their own mind. The reason why they have to be with us is because they need our guidance as their parents.